Before we had children’s, I was working full time. I remember having a conversation with Stu and agreeing that if I were to give up work that I’d take on most of the housework. I’d do the shopping and keep on top of the general running of the house. That seemed only fair.
Fast forward and we have both realised that being the stay at home parent is not the job we envisaged. I think it’s important to dispel the myth that all SAHPs do is sit around drinking tea. I wish. In fact, since my girls stopped napping, I now have less time to myself than ever before.
Team twindividuals works best when both mummy and daddy value the roles they play. For now that means, Stu bringing in the bread. He is financially supporting us and actually bringing home the bread with the shopping. My part entails caring for and nurturing our girls.
Although that sounds pretty airy fairy, by staying at home, I have more time to enrich their day to day lives with puzzles and crafts, stories and den making. Toddler groups, gym sessions and trips to the farm are so valuable and I’m more than happy to leave piles of washing and unmade beds to give them these experiences.
I’m not the cleaner
While I was pregnant, we got a cleaner and when we were considering me giving up work, that was a luxury we thought would go. In fact there were many more luxuries I was prepared to sacrifice before this one. Expensive clothes, a new phone and lots of take aways are much less important to me than the time I get back from having a domestic goddess.
I read another mummy say that when you have children you either need to lower your standards or get help. My standards are already pretty low but the few hours a fortnight mean I know all the basics are covered. I just need to keep on top of the day to day mess.
Acknowledging that it’s not my job alone to keep the house spick and span also means that if on the odd occasion our girls are playing nicely that I can actually have 10 minutes of me time. Whether that is working on my blog, scrolling Facebook or browsing eBay. I don’t think I should feel guilty that I’m not manically scrubbing toilets or vacuuming the lounge.