If like me you only have twins and there are no older or younger sibling to consider, then I’m going to share with you a realisation I recently had. Someone asked me what was the best part about having twins and also the worst. It hit me…it’s the same thing!
With twins, you almost always experience everything once. For some early experiences that’s great and you’re thankful to only have to go through it once but other times it feels you’ve somehow been cheated to only get the chance a single time.
Those special milestones such as a first taste of food are so special. Indeed there is something extra special in feeding two little ones. I have some incredibly cute photos of two messy faces, two food splattered high chairs and two pairs of hands trying to feed one another. Soon those first tastes are a distant memory and you know you won’t get that again.
The difficult stages
With twins, the trickier stages of parenting are exaggerated. The sleepless nights go on forever, potty training often takes longer and the toddler tantrums can seem to bounce back and forth without a break. Sometimes, I feel glad to only have to face these specific challenges once but even these memories are quickly compressed and feel gone so soon.
Doing everything twice certainly is exhausting, two lots of nappies over and over, two car seats to buckle. Washing, drying and dressing two little ones after bath time can take ages but then you get two lots of bedtime snuggles and two lots of bedtime kisses.
I’m sure as twins get older, there will need to be more separation in the birthday celebrations but in the early years much of it merges. All the party planning, budgeting and gift buying gets done at once. In one way that’s fab. For mummy, it’s more efficient than having to sort everything twice like traditional siblings. But it also means we don’t get the chance to celebrate each child separately. I’m not sure how I would have felt having to share my birthday especially as a child.
Whether it’s their first trip to the dentist or their first day at preschool, it is both their firsts at the same time. As the parent it means I only get to experience it once too. If I’d had two children born at different times, I’d get to do it all again with my second child. Not with twins.
What I’ve taken away from this realisation is that I’m only getting one shot. One shot at everything so I need to embrace it all…the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s all part of the package. I’m not suggesting we should all be skipping through life. However, if you only have twins, you only have one go. Let’s make it amazing.
Dividing our time feels, at times, impossible but our love is only multiplied. Which experience are you glad to only experience once and which do you wish you could do again?