Stress Guilt…Yes that’s a thing

Everyone talks about mum guilt. However hard we try to be the best parents we can be, there is always something that makes us feel inadequate. Social media doesn’t help. The Pinterest perfect crafts and instragram worthy homes are gorgeous to look at but make you wonder how these mums fit it all in.

Generally, I’m pretty good at valuing my SAHM role. Most of the time, I can see that I’m doing a decent job. My girls are happy and thriving. We love going to playgroups and the library. Every week, we seem to try something new and I’m providing them with lots of Mummy time while I have the chance.

So why am I stressed?

It’s not the same stress I had when I was working but I’ve finally admitted to myself that it is in fact still stress. This time of year, when there are so many extras to fit in, I just get overwhelmed. The festive outings, Christmas crafts, cards, gifts and general build up can be great fun. However, they also squeeze the precious free time we have as parents.

Parenting is stressful but recently I’ve been feeling particularly guilty about this. If I did all this last year, whilst still working part time, how come I’m just as stressed this year. Surely it should be easier.  I think of all the working mums out there juggling commutes, childcare, cleaning and all the other craziness and feel ridiculous. I should be walking this.

The guilt about parenting stress for me is worse than the actual stress. It’s something I can’t really talk about. I have the easiest life. I also remember our years of struggle and how hard it was to finally get our girls. It’s seems so wrong to complain. Weeks can go by when I feel on top of my game then gradually the to do list grows longer than I can manage and suddenly, I feel like I’m chasing my tail to keep up.

Just ask

Finally, I’m learning that I need to speak up quicker. In the past, I’ve waited until I was at breaking point before I asked for help. Being with little ones 24/7 without a chance to refresh is exhausting. Therefore, finding ways to take time out is invaluable.

One of my resolutions for next year is going to be to have a ‘day off’ once a month. Between Daddy and Nannie, I know if I just ask, this is totally feasible. Hopefully, by cutting myself some slack, I’ll be able to come back ready to face all the challenges of modern parenting.

Is stressful the right word? Is parenting stressful for you too?

4 thoughts on “Stress Guilt…Yes that’s a thing

  1. I know what you mean, it can be really exhausting. I take a day off once a month too, it really helps. Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

  2. I’m a working mom – and I know I’m a better parent because of it. I don’t know how “at home” moms cope with the 24/7 care. I need my time away in order to be refreshed for my family. I’m not at all surprised you feel stress, and the need for a “break.” I hope you find your day off to be a great refresher for you, and your family!

  3. I can totally relate to this. I’m super stressed on a daily basis right now but make it even worse by feeling guilty about it because I know I’m incredibly lucky. We had a long hard road to get our two children and I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to stay home with them, but it is stressful and I imagine most mums would agree.
    Thank you for joining #FamilyFunLinky x

  4. I really get what you mean, parenting is the hardest thing I’ve done. There is no off switch and you never stop worrying or stressing about what you need to get, what you need to save money for etc. I agree with you that a day to yourself even if its doing house chores but without little people by your feet would be good for you. Its amazing how refreshed you’ll feel with a day to yourself!!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next year! Merry Christmas Lovely!

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