Potty Training dilemma

To potty train or not to potty train. That is my potty training dilemma. My girls are nearly three. In fact their birthday is racing up at lightening speed and more and more I’m starting to wonder whether we should attempt potty training for the second time. It’s been five months since I quit potty training. I told myself I was going to wait until I was sure they were ready but now I just keep second guessing myself.

Back at the start of the year, when I first tried with Jess, I was convinced she was ready. Well clearly she wasn’t. I really, really don’t want to start and then need to stop again and so I’m using every delay tactic possible. Secretly, I think I’ve been hoping that they’ll be one of those children you read about who just turns around and says ‘Mummy I don’t want to wear a nappy anymore’ and that’ll be it. Does that really happen? I’m still hopeful.

There are a few reasons I’m keen to just get it done.

1) They are ridiculous too big to use the pull down changing tables when we are out and about. Seriously. I sometimes worry they will pull the whole thing off the wall and end up in a poo covered mess on the floor.

2) I’ve started to be self conscious that they are still in nappies. I know it’s probably all in my head but I think people are judging me that they are not even starting to use the toilet yet.

3) They have a morning session at preschool starting after Christmas. Although it’s not a requirement to be toilet trained, it’d be nice to send them in pants.

Just as I think I’ve convinced myself to just do it, I start finding reasons not too.

1) They still haven’t actually shown me they’re ready. I’m not sure what I want them to do but so far there has been very little toilet interest. Well other than to come and stare at me while I pee but that’s just regular child behaviour right.

2) We have outings and a mini break planned and I would rather not have to be scrambling to the nearest loo or be on constant edge. Nappies are so much more predictable.

3) I just don’t want too!

Potty training dilemma

So what should I do about my potty training dilemma? Any advice would be warmly welcomed because right now I just don’t trust my own judgement. Did you just know or was there something specific that made you give it a go? Who else tried, failed and then succeeded the second time around. I’m wondering what I would do differently.




26 thoughts on “Potty Training dilemma

  1. We potty trained our son early and we’re fortunate that he got the hang of it relatively quickly. Originally I wanted to potty train in the summer as many do so they can run about comfortably with no pants on. But we had a busy summer planned with lots of long trips, weddings and celebrations so the idea of potty training at the same time was a no no! I wanted to dedicate a week to it so as a teacher May half term was our window. Lots of time without any clothes on the bottom, putting him on the potty frequently and the fact he was used to the potty (we had been getting him to sit on it before bath-time with some success.) helped him I think. So they would be my tips. We didn’t bother with stickers or rewards as such, just lots of praise and hugs when he managed to do something on the potty. Oh and we took the potty everywhere and we bought a potty training story book. He had turned 2 in March and was in pants by June. Good luck whatever you choose to do!

    1. Thanks for the tips. I guess I’m just scared to try and fail again.

  2. It took us 3 attempts and my daughter was a few months over 3 when she finally sussed it. I really worried about what other people would think because she was still in pull ups at over 3 and I really wish I hadn’t as it just added to everyone’s stress. She just wasn’t ready before that. My advice would be if you don’t think they’re ready don’t start but it is so hard to know if they are. The key to our third attempt was nursery. She goes to private nursery 3 days a week and moved into the big class when she turned 3. The girls took her to the loo with the other kids and she just started using the loo. That was the good part as she was dry at nursery pretty quickly, but then refused to use the loo / potty / nappy at home. I think she just didn’t get that the toilet at home was the same as the one at nursery and we had 3 weeks of hell and then it just clicked. Once she realised our loo was the same, there was no looking back. Good luck 😊

    1. It’s so hard when they just don’t seem to be giving me any signs. I just hate the idea of trying and them not getting it again.

  3. Hi Amanda,

    I went through the same with my son. I tried for two weeks and after cleaning up the millionth puddle, I realised he wasn’t ready. I was under pressure from family to get it done which is the only reason I started, but knew when to stop. It’s hard to remember what actually worked in the end, he just seemed to ‘get it’. I think it was probably the sticker chart. It had different stages from just sitting in the potty/toilet to washing hand and then doing a number 2. It rewards them for simple things and gets them interested. And then if he got a line of stickers he’d get a chocolate. But don’t let yourself be under pressure. They will get it eventually. It’s like walking – you don’t see adults crawling around or wearing nappies – they’ll do it in their own time. Try not to stress.

    Good luck!

    PR x

    1. Thanks for the reassurance. I just wish they’d give me a sign so I knew when to crack on.

  4. Potty training can be a minefield, if not handled the right way,, I was extremely lucky as all three of my children managed to get it without too many issues, I have also written a blog post on my experiences of this subject #mudpiefriday@_karendennis

    1. I’ll have to pop over and have a read

  5. I’ve heard it’s really tough and you need to wait until they are ready, but I can completely see how you would be self conscious about it when they are nearly three, but try not to get too hung up on their age. Our daughter is 2 and 2 months and she’s not showing any signs yet, but we do have a potty, a book and a DVD to watch. Maybe give it another go and see how you get on. Claire x #BloggerClubUK

    1. I think ill wait until after their birthday and then try again…fingers crossed for us.

  6. This is so true and yet another reason im hestitating

  7. It took two attempts of training to get L dry and it really was a case of waiting until he was ready but we still can’t keep him clean. He’s nearly 4. So I completely get the feelings about being judged, even though I don’t reckon anyone is, I’m 100% judging myself though. I’m also completely over it, over nappies, over washing sh**ty pants, over worrying, over constantly bugging him about it. So I have no advice but I feel your pain #blogstravaganza

    1. Thanks – if i keep burying my head in the sand about it, do you think they might just figure it out themselves???

  8. There is so much pressure about potty training, our eldest was about 3.5 and middle one was around three. when they were ready they were fine and excited. you know your girls and test the water (sorry no pun intended) to see and just keep it relaxed and ignore comments #Blogstravaganza

    1. Thanks…you just don’t here much about it after three. Maybe everyone else is keeping quiet too.

  9. We’re looking to get one on Sunday, Ben is only 16 months so super early, but I want it in the house for a while to get used to it being there before we actually start training, plus MIL tells me how hubby was dry by 15 months so I feel like i need to be seen to try.. my kid must be the only one who walks away when im on the loo haha!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week!

    1. We’ve had potties in the house since they were about 2. There was a bit of interest to start with but that’s long disappeared.

  10. I started, then stopped for months. Now we’re clean but not dry! I do think that there’s a lot of weight in letting them wait until they’re ready. It makes it so stressful otherwise! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

    1. Yes I think I need to keep telling myself this.

  11. My son is turning 2 next months and I wonder when would be the right time to start, he’s still not showing signs that he’s ready yet so we might as well wait. Good luck and let us know how it goes with your girls #Blogstravaganza

    1. I’ve changed my mind about 5 times this week. Everyone has an opinion. I think i’m going to keep waiting.

  12. I don’t really have anything useful to add as I don’t have children, but I would say not to do it until you and your family are ready. If people choose to judge, that says more about them than you
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂

    1. Thanks Debbie. I guess I know this but it’s hard when everyone has an opinion.

  13. My twins turned two in March and aren’t anywhere near ready and I’m just going to wait until they show me their ready. With my eldest I worries constantly. From 18 months I showed him the potty thinking he would be interested and he wasn’t! It wasn’t until the week he turned three, he decided ‘mummy, I don’t want to wear a nappy anymore’ and that was that!
    Try not to worry, they will do it in their own time x

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