Birthday Party Etiquette with twins

As my twin girls have got older, the more birthday invites we’ve had. At this point, all their ‘friends’ are basically mummy’s friends’ children and so at no point have I been in the situation of only one being invited or even worrying about gifts.

However it seems there are some strong opinions over the gift giving from twins and what twins should receive so I thought it’s be interesting to share some parents of twins thoughts and create a list of birthday party etiquette with twins.

Inviting twins: An invite to each twin

When children are old enough to have developed their own friends (not just mummy’s friends) then they should receive their own party invitation to someone else’s party. This doesn’t mean they should both be automatically invited. Especially when twins are in separate classes, they are likely to be invited to different parties. This will even itself out over the year and teaches twins they are separate and don’t just come as a package.

Inviting friends to a joint twins party: One invite

If there is only going to be a joint party and not separate parties, it is acceptable to send a single invitation from both twins. One idea maybe to get the twins to write half the invites each or to sign their own name on each invite. A classmate does not need to receive two invitations to the same party. Obviously if they are having separate parties then they’ll need to write separate invites.

Gifts from twins: One per family

If both twins are invited to a party only one gift needs to be taken from the family. In the same way if siblings were invited to a party, you would only take one gift. An exception would be if the party was a pay per head type event and other siblings were not invited. In this case two smaller gifts may be appreciated.

Gifts to twins: One for each birthday child

As soon as they are old enough to understand what a birthday is, twins should receive their own gift. You’d never expect siblings to share a gift and so why twins. Maybe if they have asked for a shared gift you could also wrap a token individual gift too for each birthday child to celebrate the special day.

Cards from twins: One card for the birthday child

When twins cannot write, there is little point in sending two cards. In the same ways as gifts, you wouldn’t take separate cards from each member of your family. However, as they get older, twins may wish to write their own card to their birthday friend.

Cards to twins: A card for each twin

Just like gifts, cards should be sent to each twin. Realistically if you are giving a gift, cards won’t be missed that much and so no card is better than one card to share. Who would open it?

Twins invited to twins party: A gift and card for each birthday child

You could go crazy and buy a gift for each twin from each twin. In total that’d be four gifts. Instead one gift for each twin is perfectly acceptable. Each of the invited twins could help wrap one of the birthday twins gifts and then both can sign a card for each birthday twin. At the party, the invited twins can hand over their wrapped gift and card to the birthday twin.

Party bags from twins: One party bag per party guest

If a child is invited to a twins joint party they would receive a party bag. It would be frivolous to give a party bag from each birthday twin however twins could hand out half of the party bags each.

Party bags to twins: One party bag per party guest

Just because they are twins, if both have been invited they should both receive a party bag and not be expected to share.

Obviously party bags are optional and no one should expect a gift for going to a party.

As a parent of twins and after reading lots of opinions from other parents of twins, I’ve found these to be the most common ideals. Clearly you have to make up your own mind and there will always be exceptions. Hopefully this has been helpful. Do you agree with these? What would you change?

Here are what some other twin mummies had to say.

Becki –

If my family was invited to a party when i was younger (ie.me and my 2 sisters) we wouldn’t take 3 presents.

Yes i would expect a gift each for my boys as its both their birthdays… but equally I would not expect a family to buy them 6 presents if their 3 kids were invited.

I buy per family for the birthday child..
If birthday child is a twin they get 1 each.

I get a card from each though

 

Kathryn –

My friend has seven kids. I paid £8.50 per head + £1.50 party bag + £1.25 balloon. That’s almost £80. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was soft play or a pizza at mine, I never would’ve thought she’d bring seven gifts. I don’t see why it’s different for twins.

 

Stacey –

1 present… its 1 child.

I’ve told people invited to my twins 2nd birthday party that they don’t have to buy them a present as there’s 2 of them.. we don’t have the party to get gifts, we have a party to share the day with friends

 

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