Gone are the days when a sickness bug would mean a day curled on the sofa. You can no longer bury yourself beneath a duvet and binge watch your latest box set between naps. Now you have mini humans that you need to keep alive. Annoyingly, they still need feeding and entertaining regardless of the fact you feel like death. After the latest bug swept through our house, I reflected on what I’d learnt.
1) Children bounce back so much quicker than the poor parents.
2) Kitchen roll becomes a high price commodity.
3) The everyday toy chaos becomes catastrophic to the point that every floor is covered.
4) Not changing out of the clothes you wore when the bug first struck is totally acceptable.
5) Flat coke is a perfectly fine substitute for the expensive rehydration sachets you don’t actually have in your house.
6) Not eating for 48hrs and losing half a stone is not a healthy weight loss plan.
7) However ill you are, at some point you are going to have to tag team with your other half and somehow keep the children alive too.
8) Toddlers are incredibly sympathetic and really not that phased by sick. In fact the colour will intrigue them.
9) Having a downstairs loo is more of a luxury than you ever realised.
10) Nothing seems to get rid of the sick smell and even if it did, the new smell would probably just induce another bolt to the bowl.
11) When nothing will stay down, try an ice pole.
12) There’s no warning light when a toddler is going to be sick. If you’re to grab a bowl in time, you must have the the reflexes of a cat.
13) The greatest act of love is your partner telling you to go lie down and sleep even though you know he feels rotten too.
14) Children still need feeding but a cheese sandwich will have to do until you can stomach actual cooking.
15) The TV/tablet babysitter does an excellent job and deserves a tip.
16) Bedsheets will need changing the second you feel better.
17) There is not enough antibac spray or bleach in the supermarket to convince you that you’ve rid your house of the germs.
What about you? Any epiphanies when you’re ill?
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