Does anyone live with a mini dictator in the guise of a toddler? As much as I like to think of myself as running a pretty tight ship with clear boundaries, I often feel overthrown by my two tiny tyrants. My three year old twins can be somewhat demanding as I’m sure most children of this age are. However what often tips me over the edge, is them rejecting Daddy.
Breakfast time is the prime example. I have no complaints with the amount they eat at this mealtime. In fact, if you were to watch you’d think they were squirrelling away for winter. Often they consume toast, porridge, cereal and a yoghurt on top of a glass of milk. It is the many, and I mean many, preferences they have developed about how this meal should be eaten.
I like routine but maybe I’ve created a pair of monsters with OCD tendencies. I get that three year olds like to be independent but heaven help you if you open the yoghurt lid from the wrong corner or give them the yellow spoon when it’s their turn for the orange. Thinking about it now, I wonder why I let them get away with all these demands. The easy answer is that, in the morning, the last thing I want to do is start they day with a full on meltdown. So I placate them.
Before they even ask, I’m prepared. I’m ready to prevent the tears. I know Jess likes porridge in the big bowl. I know Emily like to hold the milk as I pour it into her cup. I know that the cereal cupboard door needs to be open so they can see the selection. The problem is that the tiny details that make the morning run smoothly change and poor Daddy just can’t keep up.
If only many hands made light work
You’d think with two adults, the morning would be a breeze but it just doesn’t work like that. Daddy inevitably gets it wrong. Even if he does get it right, it still isn’t good enough. ‘No! Mummy do it’, are the cries if he should even attempt to help put on a bib. If this was contained only to breakfast, it wouldn’t be too bad but it happens constantly.
Daddy has to have pretty thick skin. They tell him they don’t love him. Even though it’s obviously not true, that’s got to hurt. He makes them fly on his feet, takes them to the park and plays Mario Kart while they hold disconnected controllers. They really do love their Daddy. If they’d just let him help put on their shoes, they’d find out he is quite capable.
It would make Mummy happy too. Rejecting Daddy always seems to happen when we’re in a hurry. Instead of being able to share all that comes with getting twins out the door, I end up trying to sort both and barking jobs at Daddy. This doesn’t make for a calm start to any outing. I’m really hoping this is just a phase that they’ll grow out of and quickly.
It can’t be just me this happens too. What do your little ones refuse to let Daddy do?
13 thoughts on “Rejecting Daddy….No! Mummy do it.”
Thought this happened in my house only! My 2 two argue over who’s spoon I use to stir my coffee, will it be Elsa or will it be Chase from paw patrol? Even forbid if I forget to choose the right one. I think my other half used to think I have in too much but then quickly realised what is really involved in the military precision of nursery mornings! Oh, and have I mentioned the melt down if I don’t pychicaly know if it’s a morning for milk and cereal or dry cereal with separate milk!
Would live to meet to compare notes , maybe I’ll believe I’m not going mad sometimes!
I can relate to this so much! My ragamuffin ahs only allowed daddy to put her to bed a handful of times over the last year. If she calls for me in the night and he goes to her all hell breaks loose, even though all he’s trying to do is give me a break. She also says she doesn’t love him and he is blamed for anything that goes wrong in her vicinity. I really feel for him because he’s so desperate to be as hands on as he can but she just won’t allow it #BloggerClubUK
My daughter flits between the two of us, I think it all depends of his mood! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx
Yes! My two year old only asks for daddy when I’ve told her it’s bedtime and she doesn’t want to sleep yet. Otherwise, it’s all Mom or meltdown. Mostly, I just try to build up Daddy’s skills–“Daddy wants to take you for ice cream,” etc. Most of the time she still just wants me and throws a fit if Daddy goes in to see her. It’s hard to watch because he tries so hard! I figure I will remember this vaguely when she is a pre-teen and rejecting all things “Mom.” We just take it day by day.
Daddy really does need tough skin. It’d break my heart if it was the other way around.
It can be really hard when you need that break and they dont want Daddy!!!!! arrgghhhh. Thanks for linking up #Blogstravangaza
It’s pretty frustrating. He really does try to help but sometimes it’s not worth the battle.
I think it is a phase – my little boy would flit between us. As for the bit before going anyway, it is ALWAYS chaos for us. Leaving the house is never calm! #Blogstarvaganza
I used to do this with my parents until they got fed up with the behavior. I remember my mom telling me that she would no longer be helping me and that daddy was my only option. It was a solid two weeks before I accepted it. But I remember it clearly and I’m so glad they did it, I was able to see that daddy was competent. My parents had been told by a counselor friend that the behavior is usually caused by a lack of trust in the “secondary” parent’s abilities. #AnythingGoes
My middle son rejected me when he was three, he only ever wanted daddy to do things. It hurt, a lot. And it was hard on my husband too because he had to do pretty much everything. He grew out of it, but even now daddy is still the favourite. It stings a little, because like you I am the one who has her eye on the fine details that make things run smoothly and avoid meltdowns. I guess my son just doesn’t appreciate that the way your girls do!
Even more so with a foster kiddo! It is hard but part of development. #anythinggoes
Mine haven’t known any different so definitely easier I’d imagine.
Kids pick awkward times to make a fuss! Dad is the fun parent so he gets chosen when the kids want something #anythinggoes