Everyone talks about mum guilt. However hard we try to be the best parents we can be, there is always something that makes us feel inadequate. Social media doesn’t help. The Pinterest perfect crafts and instragram worthy homes are gorgeous to look at but make you wonder how these mums fit it all in.
Generally, I’m pretty good at valuing my SAHM role. Most of the time, I can see that I’m doing a decent job. My girls are happy and thriving. We love going to playgroups and the library. Every week, we seem to try something new and I’m providing them with lots of Mummy time while I have the chance.
So why am I stressed?
It’s not the same stress I had when I was working but I’ve finally admitted to myself that it is in fact still stress. This time of year, when there are so many extras to fit in, I just get overwhelmed. The festive outings, Christmas crafts, cards, gifts and general build up can be great fun. However, they also squeeze the precious free time we have as parents.
Parenting is stressful but recently I’ve been feeling particularly guilty about this. If I did all this last year, whilst still working part time, how come I’m just as stressed this year. Surely it should be easier. I think of all the working mums out there juggling commutes, childcare, cleaning and all the other craziness and feel ridiculous. I should be walking this.
The guilt about parenting stress for me is worse than the actual stress. It’s something I can’t really talk about. I have the easiest life. I also remember our years of struggle and how hard it was to finally get our girls. It’s seems so wrong to complain. Weeks can go by when I feel on top of my game then gradually the to do list grows longer than I can manage and suddenly, I feel like I’m chasing my tail to keep up.
Finally, I’m learning that I need to speak up quicker. In the past, I’ve waited until I was at breaking point before I asked for help. Being with little ones 24/7 without a chance to refresh is exhausting. Therefore, finding ways to take time out is invaluable.
One of my resolutions for next year is going to be to have a ‘day off’ once a month. Between Daddy and Nannie, I know if I just ask, this is totally feasible. Hopefully, by cutting myself some slack, I’ll be able to come back ready to face all the challenges of modern parenting.
Is stressful the right word? Is parenting stressful for you too?